Gordon Allen Pross, the 1998 Democratic nominee for the fourth Congressional District of Washington State, a 2000 and 2002 Republican candidate challenging the throne of Doc Hastings, has shifted his focus to new and bigger challenges in 2004: he’s running for the Republican nomination for a US Senate seat.

As expected, his campaign website does not disappoint.

Where does he stand on salmon?

TODAY THE COLUMBIA HAS BEEN TAMED NOT UNLIKE OUR AMERICANIZED CULTURE WITH A FORMULA CREATED WAY BEFORE THE FAROS HAD THE BLUEPRINTS TO BUILD THE GREAT PYRAMIDS. MIND MASS AND SOCIAL CONTROL, IT WORKED THEN AND IT CONTINUES TO WORKS TODAY. […] LET US TOGETHER INTRO INTO RE-COMPLEX-ING THE COLUMBIA RIVER, SHALL WE? […] MY RECOMMENDATION IS TO CREATE, UPSTREAM, BEYOND THE REACH OF THE HAZARDS PRESENTED BY THE DAM, AN ARTERY OF WATER 30 FEET IN CIRCUMFERENCE THAT ACTS AS A SO CALLED “CORONARY BYPASS,” AND CHANNEL IT BACK INTO THE COLUMBIA SOME DISTANCE DOWNSTREAM FROM THE DAMS OVERLY OXYGEN RICH SALMON TRAP. AS THE SALMON MAKE THERE WAY FROM THE OCEAN RUNNING UP STREAM AS THEY APPROACH THE NEW BYPASS THEY WILL BE COAXED UP THE BYPASS BY THE PLAYING OF RECORDED AUDIO SOUNDS OF THE FORMER SALMON BEING FEASTED UPON BY THE BIRDS. […]

Where does he stand on the… power issue?

I will introduce the new department of

The one and only nuclear reactor that mother earth cannot live without, our brilliant star that humanity calls “The Sun!”
The (DOLE) “Department Of Lunar Energy” will provide for a clean and perpetual resource to flood America’s electrical power grid with an ergonomic user friendly none toxic means to generate low cost electricity needed to rejuvenate our “Made In America” logo!
Turbine generators will line our American offshore boarders providing yet another layer of defense from the open sea. DOLE will be a fine vehicle for home land security to sink their teeth into. SOS saved by the tide. America’s west coast borders will be secured at sea level, to include all the way from Maine to our distant neighbors in Mexico.

Where does he stand on… watershed?

NOW IF YOU DO NOT BELIEVE THAT THE QUALITY OF THE SURFACE WATER WITHIN THE RIVER IS NOT A DIRECT BAROMETER AND INHERENT INDICATOR OF YOUR PRESENT HEALTH, THEN YOU ARE WRONG MR. AND MRS. SCIENCE!!!

And what is his overall philosophy?

MAKE WAY FOR A REAL PEOPLE’S REPRESENTATIVE THAT IS OVERFLOWING WITH LEGISLATIVE TOOLS TO FIX AND BRING BACK OUR AMERICAN DREAM OF OUR LIVES BEING LIVED AS AMERICAS DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE PROVIDES! ELECT GORDON ALLEN PROSS CREATOR/POLITICAL RENAISSANCE IGNITED VIA THE RESURRECTION OF HUMANITIES WILL TO POLICY GORDON O4 UNITED STATES SENATOR.

I GORDON ALLEN PROSS AM NOT AN ENABLER, FOR I AM A LIBERATOR. GOVERNMENT NEEDS DO ONE THING WELL. GOVERNMENTS ROLL MUST PROVIDE THE BARE ESSENTIAL NEED FOR ITS PEOPLE. SO HUMANITY MAY HONE THE PROPER TOOLS FOR BECOMING ABLE TO CREATE THEIR OWN WISH LIST, WHILE NURTURING THE MEANS AND WAYS TO RESURRECT THOSE WISHES INTO REALITY SO HUMANITY HAS A VENUE TO PURSUE HAPPINESS.

There you go. Join the Revolution now, one Senator at at time…

This entry was posted on Sunday, September 5th, 2004 at 1:45 am and is filed under Doc Hastings and the 4th Congressional District of Wash. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.