Here’s part of Gordon Allen Pross, candidate for the Republican Nominee for US Senate from Washington,’s plan for managing the salmon in the Columbia River:

AS THE SALMON MAKE THERE WAY FROM THE OCEAN RUNNING UP STREAM AS THEY APPROACH THE NEW BYPASS THEY WILL BE COAXED UP THE BYPASS BY THE PLAYING OF RECORDED AUDIO SOUNDS OF THE FORMER SALMON BEING FEASTED UPON BY THE BIRDS.

THEN WHEN THE SALMON ARE RUNNING BACK TO SEA, I SUGGEST AN ELECTRONIC FIELD UPSTREAM, PLACED AT AN OBLIQUE ANGLE SO AS TO DIRECT THE SALMON THROUGH THE BYPASS, MUCH AS A CATTLE RANCHER WOULD USE A CHUTE TO FUNNEL LIVESTOCK FOR BRANDING, SEPARATING, OR TRANSPORT

An interesting proposal. Scare the salmon with noises of birds eating them, driving the salmon in the other direction. It’s bears a striking resemblance to the overall Bush / Cheney campaign strategy:

“It’s absolutely essential that eight weeks from today, on Nov. 2, we make the right choice, because if we make the wrong choice then the danger is that we’ll get hit again and we’ll be hit in a way that will be devastating from the standpoint of the United States,” Cheney told about 350 supporters at a town-hall meeting in this Iowa city.

Vote Gordon Allen Pross / Dick Cheney!

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