Warren G Harding
Looking for a biography of a specific person whose last name begins with “H” in the public library, I noticed a slender and somewhat pathetic biography about President Warren Harding written by preeminent Presidential Tumor Expert John Dean. Considered by the arbitrary Historians who decide these things as the nation’s Worst or Second Worst or Third Worst president, here we have a flattering picture.
I leafed through it. It’s short, but I don’t want to read a biography about Warren G. Harding. What do I find? Mr. Dean believes that Harding’s Scandals weren’t his fault, and he since he was dead he couldn’t defend himself. The Teapot Dome Scandal fades away from my memory — favours for money or something like that? (There’s a teapot domed shape gas station somewhere around Toppenish, Washington that memorializes the Teapot Dome Scandal, but I never knew quite what to make of that.)
Anyway… leafing through the book, it looks like Harding’s biggest presidential accomplishment was pardoning the pacifist Socialist Eugene Debs, which helped heal the bad feelings left over by The Great War. World War I syndrome, I guess it’s called…
And he was greeted by well-wishers as his casket travelled the nation by train. But I think any president would have that same mark. Except Woodrow Wilson, who was deeply hated at that time…
That’s Warren G. Harding… I guess.
The Five Greatest Presidents According to Me at this time:
#1: George Washington
Brilliant minimalist.
#2: Thomas Jefferson
Saved the country from the Fascist Tyranny of John Adams. It’s worth noting that he jettisoned his prior philosophy of “A Revolution Every Twenty Years” when he took office…
#3: Franklin D Roosevelt
#4: Grover Cleveland
Because “Grand Vision” is overrated.
#5: William Henry Harrison
Just name me one bad thing he did while in office.