A Last Word on Neal Horsley
Hacket saying someone in class molested pig, forcing me to consider classmate committing beastiality. Disturbing!
That’s what I wrote for my Senior Year High School year book for “most memorable moment”. To an extent, I was trying to outdo my brother, whose “Drank Jolt Cola, and was wired for the rest of the day” garnered a comment to me a year from a student looking through old yearbooks. My comment stood out, and there appears to have been a bit of “iffyness” on the part of the Yearbook staff. For his part, my conversation with the teacher went like this. “That’s a pretty interesting ‘memorable moment’.” “Indeed.” (A few people post-graduate have read it, and commented “They let you write that?“)
The editing job on the passage confused me. They inserted a “to be” between “classmate” and “committing”. What that clarifies is beyond me, and further it seems to confuse matters: is the classmate a future classmate of mine? And, if they’re going to move the word-count past the 15 words that was imposed on me, why not stick a “Mr.” before “Hacket”?
There really isn’t much of a story beyond those 15 words. I was taking an Auto Shop class (mostly a scheduling accident). I wasn’t paying attention to the teacher as he was talking about some prankery someone apparently had on FFA students (that’s “Future Farmers of America”). A student (his nakename wasn’t “Squirt”, though it might as well have been) made a wise-crack that I didn’t catch — and the teacher responded tersly with words that popped me to attention: “Molested a pig.”
After a classroom of kids popped up to attention, and gave a “Wooah” reaction, we went to the shop, and that was the last I ever heard of anything. I regret not popping in by saying, “Define ‘molest’.”
Horsley did not stress the “deliverance” from his poking Elsie, as much as he emphasised that everyone who lives on a Georgia farm engages in bestiality. I am sure the farmers of Georgia are none to pleased. He even went so far as to try and get Colmes to enjoin his behavior.
I… guess… bestiality happens. (I note a comment spam I deleted today full of links to bestiality-related porn.) But to suggest that everyone on the farm is doing it offers up the basic problem with Horsley: he has a perverted view of what normal sinners are doing… and, mind you, I believe he loves the photos of bloody fetuses that he’s likely to wave around in a strangely sexual way.
It’s easy to destroy the tired argument chimed in from the religious right (Neal Horsley on down to Senator Rick Santorum) that goes First Homosexuality, next Bestiality. As children can’t consent, animals can’t either. I’m more head-strong on protecting the innocence of children than animals, I may as well admit, and I can envision a hyper-libertarian argument that… oh, never mind.
As for Horsley’s further kvetching on the matter of “doing anything that moves” to include “a warm watermelon in the pasture” (or a location of creepy specificity)– it reminds me that there was a popular movie made a few years ago with a teenager having sex with a pie, which means … I guess masturbation into food happens somewhat regularly. But please don’t tell me about it. (I happen to hate Joe Matt’s comics.)