In the back of the the Nixon library, a dusty tape falls out of a high placed cabinet. This is the first time anybody has ever been aware of this particular item, and the denziens of Nixon Central all huddle around, wondering what it reveals.

So, the two men in charge of operations set up the equipment, go to a secluded and locked room, and have a listen. The tape lasts 18 and a half minutes. At the conclusion, they take off their head-phones, staring at each other, jaws open.

“OH MY GOD! It’s the missing tape!”
“And… it completely exonerates Nixon!”
“Puts all those other tapes into a totally different perspective.”
“Yeah. Woodward and Bernstein were total assholes for bringing Nixon down like that! It was all a left-wing conspiracy that blew up a third rate burglary into nothing Just LISTEN TO THIS”
“Who woulda thunk?”
“Who could have imagined that those 18 and a half minutes of lost tape would so completely exonerate Richard Nixon like that?”

Silence.

“You realize the ramnifications of this? What it would do to America’s understanding of history?”
” … The total shock and jolting to the already fragile American psyche?”

Silence. Both men shake their head, and look down forlornly.

“Better burn the thing then.”
“I’ll hide it in my jacket. Throw it in the fireplace tonight. That will be the end of it.”

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