New Sports League. Seattle gets a team. And… huh.

An Oklahoma businessman bought the Seattle Sonics and moved it to Oklahoma City.  The Seahawks had a miserable season last year and look likely to have another one next year.  The Mariners are off to a good start — we’ll see how long it lasts — after a string of bad seasons, though here at least Mariners fans can relive some nostalgia glory with Griffey back in the line-up.  Also notable is that the state’s two major college football teams wound their way to the state rivalry game with the question of who would get a single conference victory for the season on the line.  Apparently soccer is doing well, such as that is — well enough to convince Portland’s crappy city government to chase the thing down and hand money over to some schmuck named Paulson, son of another Paulson you may have heard about.

Not good for Seattle sports fan.  But, from all this gloom here is something.  The city of Seattle is about to get a new sports team.

This is embarrassing on various levels, and particularly troubling on one.

The Lingerie League began as a television programming gimmick by a Hollywood production company, Horizon Productions, in 2004 as a pay-per-view rival to the halftime show at the Superbowl, the championship final of American football.

It now has ten teams, most run as franchises, with names such as Chicago Bliss, Atlanta Steam, Dallas Desire, Phoenix Scorch and San Diego Seduction. The league will make its professional debut next spring, with players earning starting salaries in the region of $40,000 ( and match schedules that mirror those of the mainstream National Football League.

Trials for prospective players in Seattle last week attracted scores of scantily clad candidates – and a number of enthusiastic workers from a building site.

“They’ve been on a two-hour lunch break since 10am,” observed Christine Merklinghaus, who was at the trials.

When asked by a television reporter what she thought the allure would be for spectators, one girl said: “Probably half-naked women playing football.”

All press conference to this thing runs about like that.  I generically want to ask any woman participating in this a sort of “What are you doing?” and any man watching it the same thing.  (You know, the Internet is full of hot and cold running porn, right?)  It is enough of a joke that I’m almost tempted to follow it as a stats geek, and report which player has the best qb rating, etc.

But all that is besides the point.  The real problem with this thing comes right about here.  I’d hope this is something of a ruse:

“These girls take it very seriously. They aren’t going to be just skipping round the field worrying about breaking their fingernails, they’re going to be worrying about breaking their necks,” Kyle Bolin, spokesman for the Lingerie League, said.

Google this, and you’ll see what they’re wearing while “seriously” playing football.  Or, you know — you can take a look through the Victoria’s Secret catalouge.  It would be better if this were essentially fake, and if the real thrill were something along the lines of the woman posing their chests upward every chance they could.  The problem is that if they’re actually playing full contact football, the injury rate would have to be roughly 100 percent, wouldn’t it?

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