#1: Al Franken versus Bill O’Reilly, the strange feud in which you must say Franken is winning.

Paraprhaseing Al Franken on Conan O’Brien, doing the “In the Year 2000” bit:

In the Year 2000… “A mad scientist will switch the brains of Al Franken and Bill O’Reilly. Bill O’Reilly will start supporting liberal causes. Al Franken will start masturbating to John Wayne movies.”

#2: Bill O’Reilly versus G Gordon Liddy.

G Gordon Liddy appears on Crossfire., along with Al Franken:

BEGALA: Mr. Liddy, as an expert in the field, why is it that Bill O’Reilly, a guy who sued Al Franken, and got laughed out of court, literally, why he’s so successful on cable television, he hasn’t done very well on radio. Why?

LIDDY: No, he hasn’t. Matt Drudge exposed all his radio ratings, which are in the toilet. I don’t know why he doesn’t do radio well, but he really doesn’t do radio well at all. Maybe because his most nuanced explanation of something is “Shut up!”

Bill O’Reilly then said he’d bring Liddy on his show if he apologized. It’s not exactly in G Gordon Liddy’s nature to do so, and he had no reason to anyhow, so he declined. And Bill O’Reilly responded, to paraphrase:

I don’t care about him. He’s a bug. With all due respect to bugs.

#3: Al Franken, Blanquita Cullum, Cal Thomas (I think) together on with Ted Kopell’s Nightline April 1, 2004, covering the launch of “Air America Radio”…

Cal Thomas (I think), paraphrased: “The danger is that we’ll end up with a bifurcated society.”

(Yes. Talk Radio would be much better if everyone has to get together and listen to a motley crue of Rush-clones…)

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