#1: Triangulate.

#2: Rectangulate.

#3: Hexangonulate

#4: Rename yourself “Bill Clinton”

#5: Study the presidencies of Clinton, Reagan, Eisenhower, and Truman.  Do what they did at this point in their presidencies.

#6: Study the presidencies of Carter and the first Bush.  Don’t do what they did at this point in their presidencies.

#7: Do what Carter and Bush did, but in a more politically astute manner.

#8: Change your party affiliation to Republican in time to get the Republican nomination, but without enough time for the Demcorats to nominate anyone else.

#9: Announce that you will not seek, or accept, another term in office.  The people will reward this refreshing political selflessness by voting you in for a second term.

#10:  Announce that no matter what happens, you will not go for a third term.

#11:  Go Left

#12: Go Right.

#13: Go Left for the voters who want you to go left, and Right for the voters who want you go Right.

#14:  Counterintuitively, Go Right for the voters who want you to go Left, and Left for the voters who want you to go Right.  The voters will reward you for your political straight-forwardness.

#15:  Give the Greatest and Most Memorable State of the Union Address in all of Recorded Human History.

#16:  Announce that as budget cutting gesture, you will not be speaking the State of the Union Address this year.  Evoke Thomas Jefferson’s comments about delivering a State of the Union speech being too “magisterial”.  This should win you the support of conservatives such as Alan Keyes.

#17:  Subvert the idea of Campaigining in Poetry and Governing Prose by Campaigning in prose and Governing in Poetry.

#18:  Rename yourself “Hillary Clinton”.

#19:  Convince the Republicans to nominate John McCain again.

#20:  Convince the Republicans to nominate Bob Dole again.

#21:  Open the Files on the Aliens and you will gain the possibly pivotal UFOlogist Voting bloc.  Except for those that believe you’re with-holding stuff.

#22:  Open the files on 9/11 and you will gain the 9/11 Truther Voting bloc.

#23:  Announce that from now on, every choice you make will come from what polls above 50 percent.  This will convince the public that you have the pulse on the public.

#24:  Announce that from now on, every choice you make will come from what polls below 50 percent.  This will comfort the self-doubting public.

#25:  Capture Osama Bin Laden.  This may alienate some of the 9/11 Truther bloc you gained with #22 as they view it as a public stunt, but it will gain you everyone else.

#26:  Line up a series of October Surprises.  Each more surprising than the last.

#27:  Announce that the remainder of your presidency will be devoted exclusively to a War on Bed-bugs.

#28:  Send a Man to Mars.  Preferably your predecessor.

#29:  Pull a Nixon and announce that Peace is at Hand.

#30:  A massive chain email campaign to tell everyone what a great guy you are.

#31:  Get a Graphic designer to produce a new two-colored poster.  Also a new young attractive model to prounce around in a half shirt and shorts with your image on it.  Gotta go back to the well of what worked in 2008!

#32:  Read Mark Halperin’s 2007 book “The Way to Win”.  Though its advice was opposite of the way to win in 2008, it may have come around the bend to what will win in 2012.

#33:  Make John Boehner cry.

#34:  Icosagonulate

#35:  Megagonulate

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