I.  Ted Haggard?  That Evangelical Church Leader — huge in his sphere of influence –  I had never heard of until last October?  Completely Heterosexual now!  He has been cured of his Homosexuality in his three week intensive treatment program.

The Rev. Tim Ralph, senior pastor for New Covenant Fellowship in Larkspur, told The Denver Post on Monday that Haggard’s homosexual activity appears to be limited to Denver male escort Mike Jones, who said he and Haggard had a threeyear sexual relationship.

See?  The Homosexuality was limited to that one prostitute… over a period of three years… with a healthy dose of Meth.

Of course, I’d think if he had been convorting much beyond Mike Jones, the news would have gotten out a lot faster, but never mind.

“He (Haggard) is completely heterosexual,” Ralph told the Post. “That is something he discovered. It was the acting-out situations where things took place. It wasn’t a constant thing.”

He said Haggard discovered his heterosexuality during an intensive three-week spiritual restoration process in Phoenix.

He discovered his heterosexuality?  I tend to think of heterosexuality as sort of the Default setting.  Huh.  It took a three week program for him to realize that, no, no, no, that three year relation to that male prostitute notwithstanding… he is ALL MAN!
Which is good, because now he can get back to his Christian marriage, and, according to him in that documentary filmed by Nancy Pelosi’s daughter with Ted Haggard as a tour guide through the world of Evangelical Christianity, enjoy the healthy sex life that comes with married bliss.  (Which in the previous life when he spoke those words was apparently fortified with the meth induced gay prostitute sex, but never mind.)

SIGH.

II.   Proponents of same-sex marriage have introduced a ballot measure that would require heterosexual couples to have a child within three years or have their marriages annulled.

The Washington Defense of Marriage Alliance acknowledged on its Web site that the initiative was “absurd” but hoped the idea prompts “discussion about the many misguided assumptions” underlying a state Supreme Court ruling that upheld a ban on same-sex marriage.

Sure.  Why not?

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