Jibb?

I passed by the local — um — Hip Hop, I suppose — station — “Portland’s Party Station”, and paused to hear what was perhaps the most remarkably horrific song I have had the displeasure/pleaseure to hear in the last — probably decade and a half, actually. Sang to the tune of that old Summer Camp campfire song “Do Your Ears Hang Low?”, We get this chorus:

Do yo chain hang low
Do it wobble to the flo
Do it shine in the light
Is it platinum, Is it gold
Could you throw it over ya shoulda
If ya hot, to make ya cold
Do your chain hang low

And then we get such further elaboration as this:

Is that your chain!?
Bout 24 inches is how low I let it hang
How bout the ride n let the diamonds smoke off the range
Just by the chain you can tell the big kid do his thang
You know the name!

Is that your chain!?
Bout 24 inches is how low I let it hang
How bout the ride n let the diamonds smoke off the range
Just by the chain you can tell the big kid do his thang
Im off the chain!

I realize that a lot of hip hop is about the “bling bling”, somewhat sadly enough — an encouragement of the worst sort of consumer habits — and I’ll just have to let that pass. But why is a “chain” “hanging low” — and oh so low–, which I suppose fits under the category of “bling bling”, though I’m not entirely confident of that — something worth singing about?

And can we next hear someone appropriate “My Bonnie Flew Over the Ocean” into a hit hip hop number? Perhaps it can be about Big Kids sucking on Pacifiers.*

…………………………..
*rememberance of the most bizarre spectacle from my sixth grade.

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