Vampires for Governor

“Just because I bite somebody, it doesn’t make them a vampire,” Sharkey said. “It doesn’t make them evil, and they’re not going to be like — hiss-s-s! — all over the place. I mean, let’s be real here.”

I am not averse to voting for fringe candidates. Heck, I’m struggling wondering why many of the currently elected “public servants” aren’t consigned to the fringes of our political life — my big bugliobo being Oklahoma Senator Tom Coburn with his “rampant lesbianism in the bathrooms of Southeast Oklahoma schools”. In the same way I have yet to vote for a Democrat or Republican for president, in the two Portland mayorial primaries I’ve had the privilege of voting in, I have selected Shaun J Fairlee and … Extremo the Clown. Evidentally, Portland elected a “fringe candidate” of sorts for mayor back in the 1980s in Bud Clarke, although… his lack of seriousness was a ruse to throw off the insider candidate, who come election day is said to have said something to the effect of, “I want to vomit.” (His most famous contribution to politics had been this.)

“We’ve got enough screwballs in politics already,” one man said.

“I don’t understand where these people come from, but to each his own,” another said.

For what it is worth, I slyly inserted Jonathon “The Impaler” Sharkey into my “endorsement” list. Whatever that means. But the case of this gubernatorial candidate has arrived at political and religious impasse:

The Princeton School District is requesting that Julie Carpenter be removed from driving or having contact with students. It is our opinion Ms. Carpenter does not serve as a role mode nor is suitable to perform transportation services for the Princeton School District in light of recent media reports of her husband/friend to be a vampire who is running for public office and Ms. Carpenter informing other bus garage employees that she is a witch.

The parents of the good little Christian kids have the chore of explaining how somebody might be a witch, and how somebody might use blood-sucking as a metaphor of what the political establishment does in office. I guess that’s more aggrivating than explaining Janet Jackson’s breast? I don’t know.

As she said, she’s not sucking the children’s blood. Another case of how you cannot acceptably travel outside society’s-definition of acceptable (and frequently odd) belief-systems and behaviour.

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