Destroying Your Christmas PART 3
I don’t know if children in other nations do this to their standard songs.
“Jingle Belles, Batman Smells, Robin Laid an Egg, The Batmobile Lost its wheel and the Joker Got Away — Hey!”
The other classic that pops immediately to mind is the “like Pinocchio” “like Monopoly”, etc interspersed after various lines of “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.”
I was sitting at a bus stop with a mother and child visiting and trying to escape the city from the suburbs — I think visiting for the lighting of the Christmas Tree. The snot-nosed 10 year old boy jumped into what I guess is the newest rendition of the tradition…
“I believe I can die”
(The second line has two variations: “I got ran over by the ice cream guy” or “I got ran over by the FBI” (Is there any difference between the two? I don’t know.)
“All I wanted was a cherry pie.”
“I believe I can die.”
Take it for what it’s worth. For the life of me I don’t know where these things can from, or how they spread around in the community of elementary school kids.
He’ll be singing at the annual Christmas Children’s Mass, I suppose. An event that nobody anywhere, not the children, not the parents, not the congregation, not the priest, wants any part of… but there it is…
At the top of my lungs, along with 20 other kids: “I AM THE CHURCH! YOU ARE THE CHURCH! YES WE’RE THE CHURCH TOGETHER! ALL WHO FOLLOW JESUS ALL AROUND THE WORLD — LET’S BE THE CHURCH TOGETHER!”
That’s a bad scene. I remember attending one from the pews at the age of 11 or so, quote-in-quote “forgetting” to tell my parents that I had to be at church early for the event (actually taking advantage of being absent a week earlier when the priest reminds everyone what is to come next week), and the CCD music director chewing me out a couple days later for being in the pews and not in the chior section, threatening to drag me out next time by my ears. The only thing I can think is that “Misery loves company”.