Election Year Predictions
Ronald Reagan will die this year. Nancy Reagan will soon follow, since elderly spouses meet their demise soon after their loved one.
The Democratic Party, needing to stem the feeling of goodwill from the Reagans’ deaths and the effect it has on Bush’s re-election numbers, will decide to convince Carter to off himself. Carter, displaying the same good-natured tendencies that served as the lynchpin for the undoing of his presidency, will agree, and run off to die in a tragic plane crash.
Carter’s death in no way offsets the deaths of the Reagans. So, the head-honchos of the Democratic Party have to meet again to decide what to do. The idea of Clinton offing himself will arise. But, everyone has veto-authority, and Clinton will lobby for Terry McAuliffe to veto the idea. (Clinton could use his veto, but he doesn’t want to appear selfish.)
So, what the Democratic Party will do is … bring back John F. Kennedy. The announcement will be made that, in fact, John F. Kennedy never died that fateful day in Dallas in 1963. This announcement, and the sudden appearance of JFK on the public stage, will shock the nation. John Kerry’s poll numbers will enjoy the trickle that comes from the goodwill toward JFK.
But, the Democratic Party will get greedy. During a re-enactment of JFK’s Dalls ride, to show that the man, aged into his 80s and with a 40 year hole in his public biography, is (a) not afraid of his past & (b) still exhibiting youthful vigor,
He will be shot. Again.
Conspiracy theories will erupt across the country, and many of them will take ahold of the public imagination as truth. This crazy idea that the Democrats propped out JFK and sacrificed him to enhance their candidates’ electoral chances will become fodder for the chattering classes of cable news and talk radio. Bush will be re-elected in a landslide.